Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency

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Baby boomers: Born to be wild? Or ...

Bored…Tubby…Mild!
by Walt Handelsman
Click on image for animated toon.

Get your Motrin ready, Head out on a treadmill. The heating pad is warming, In case your herniated disk kills. We’re aging Boomers but refuse to show it, I just got implants and a tummy tuck. A triple bypass and two knee replacements, Getting old really sucks! I just took Viagra, Both the kids are out late. I’ll go get some Merlot, Let’s hope it won’t inflame your prostate. We’re Baby Boomers! The original rebels, Used to smoke pot but now we drink green tea. We tripped on acid, now we have acid reflux, We’re in the AARP! We were spoiled, pushy, wild, But now we’re bored, tubby and mild. We used to get so high, Now they call us spry!!! Bored…Tubby…Mild! Bored…Tubby…Mild!

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A Comedic Giant... Gone

Sadly, the world is now a less funny place...

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Carlin's Seven Words

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Carlin on Religion

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George Denis Patrick Carlin
1937-2008

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.

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Making News...

Okay, so, this bird walks into a store...

A seagull in Marinette, Wisconsin has developed the habit of stealing snack chips from a neighborhood convenience store. The seagull waits until the manager isn't looking, and then walks into the store and grabs a snack-size bag of cheese Doritos. Once outside, the bag gets ripped open and shared by other birds. The seagull's shoplifting started early this month when he first swooped into the store and helped himself to a bag of Doritos. Since then he's become a regular. And he always takes the same type of chips. The Manager thinks it's great because people are coming to watch the feathered thief make the daily grab and run, and that's good for business, and especially since customers have begun paying for the seagull's stolen bags of chips because they think it's so funny. However, the Manager did say, "This is Wisconsin , and if that seagull starts to grab a 6-pac to go along with the Doritos, I may have to put a stop to it."

With thanks to my colleague, Brian Wolf, for forwarding this story along to me.

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The Fool on the Hill

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The face of terrorism in America

Rachael Ray and Dunkin' Dounts*

Click on image for Leonard Pitts' take on this.
* - in the paranoid world of Michelle Malkin, natch.

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Mr. and Mrs. John McLieberSame

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What do you think?

I was recently watching Star Trek: Insurrection, and it struck me that Ad'har Ru'afo looks a lot like John McCain. What do you think?

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Cats on a treadmill

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Bathroom Wall Wit and Wisdom

Sometimes a person can find nuggets of wit (and even wisdom) written on the walls of public bathrooms. In this most recent entry:

WWJD...

... for a Klondike bar?

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The Reason for $4.00 a gallon gasoline

From our friends at Democratic Underground, and the 336th edition of The Top Ten Conservative Idiots (in this case, #7, George W. Bush):

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For any studly guy...

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Always think ahead...

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Through the lens of history

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No St. Patrick's Day would be complete without...

... the potato song:



Happy Birthday, Frank!

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For St. Patrick's Day, 2008...

... an Irish DUI test:

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Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees

Blog Talk Radio Featured Host Brian Wolf had me in stitches when he read the following on tonight's broadcast of Shakedown Street:

Eleven Tips on Getting More Efficiency Out of Women Employees from the July 1943 edition of Mass Transportation Magazine 1. If you can get them, pick young married women. They have these advantages, according to the reports of western companies: they usually have more of a sense of responsibility than do their unmarried sisters; they're less likely to be flirtatious; as a rule, they need the work or they wouldn't be doing it — maybe a sick husband or one who's in the army; they still have the pep and interest to work hard and to deal with the public efficiently. 2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Most transportation companies have found that older women who have never contacted the public, have a hard time adapting themselves, are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It's always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy. 3. While there are exceptions, of course, to this rule, general experience indicates that "husky" girls — those who are just a little on the heavy side — are likely to be more even-tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters. 4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination — one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit but also reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job. Transit companies that follow this practice report a surprising number of women turned down for nervous disorders. 5. In breaking in women who haven't previously done outside work, stress at the outset the importance of time — the fact that a minute or two lost here and there makes serious inroads on schedules. Until this point is gotten across, service is likely to be slowed up. 6. Give the female employe in garage or office a definite day-long schedule of duties so that she'll keep busy without bothering the management for instructions every few minutes. Numerous properties say that women make excellent workers when they have their jobs cut out for them but that they lack initiative in finding work themselves. 7. Whenever possible, let the inside employe change from one job to another at some time during the day. Women are inclined to be nervous and they're happier with change. 8. Give every girl an adequate number of rest periods during the day. Companies that are already using large numbers of women stress the fact that you have to make some allowances for feminine psychology. A girl has more confidence and consequently is more efficient if she can keep her hair tidied, apply fresh lipstick and wash her hands several times a day. 9. Be tactful in issuing instructions or in making criticisms. Women are often sensitive; they can't shrug off harsh words the way that men do. Never ridicule a woman — it breaks her spirit and cuts her efficiency. 10. Be reasonably considerate about using strong language around women. Even though a girl's husband or father may swear vociferously, she'll grow to dislike a place of business where she hears too much of this. 11. Get enough size variety in operator uniforms that each girl can have a proper fit. This point can't be stressed too strongly as a means of keeping women happy, according to western properties.

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Sounds in nature

Have you ever heard the sound of a French existentialist seagull?

"PourQUOI!? PourQUOI!?"

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List of the Day: Great Olan Mills photos

From List of the Day:

Great Olan Mills photos

This is a must see/read for humor fans everywhere. Here's a sample:

Kenneth and his prom date.

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From the "I didn't know that" category...

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Mid-week thoughts...

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Third-Tier Pundits, Part 5

Goldberg Can't Explain His Own Book
by: Sam Boyd

The following clip of Jonah Goldberg being interviewed on the Daily Show should, I submit, convince anyone that Jonah Goldberg doesn't have any idea of what he's talking about. He gets numerous opportunities to explain why liberals aren't fascists and instead he just randomly combines words. I mean when the first thing you say when someone asks you why you think liberals are fascists is that the New Republic supported Mussolini in the 1920s you've made it clear that you don't actually have any evidence. This also just reinforces my point from the other day. Goldberg doesn't give a damn about fascism. He just wants to convince everyone that progressives are evil opressive racists and if that involves saying the environmental movement is fascist because some Nazis liked organic food then so be it. Equally damning is this Michael Ledeen review. Ledeen is a hard-right political scientist and pundit, but he's also an actual expert of fascism. His critique is all the more devastating because he so clearly didn't want to have to write it. The not-in-anger-but-in-sadness tone is incredibly effective.

NOTE: Excerpts from the Michael Ledeen review, mentioned above, can be found in my thread, Third-Tier Pundits, Part 4.

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Homosexuality is an attack on the American Family

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Happy New Year!

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

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The Jolly Boots of Doom

"Bow down, bow down, before the power of Santa or be crushed, be crushed, by his jolly boots of doom!"

Thanks to Rev. Darko!

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Last minute Christmas suggestion

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Irrefutable Proof: We Did Not Go To The Moon

Or: Fighting stupidity with stupidity.

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Festivus, Part Two - The Human Fund

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Festivus, Part One

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The War on Christmas - Update!

Looks like it is going to get nasty now:

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Rudy's Latest Ad

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Fight them there... well, you know how that goes...

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Head Man's Mess

Click image for larger view

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From the "You can't make this up" category

This, from the official White House Web site:

BUSH: If anybody were to come to this center, they would have to leave inspired and thankful, inspired by the servicemen and women who are recovering from wounds with such courage; thankful that there are instructors and preachers and volunteers who are helping these people get back on their feet...

Thanks to Top 10 Conservative Idiots, No. 314 for originally posting this gem.

Nope, you can't make this up!

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Mr. Bean's War On Christmas: Nativity Battle Division

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Mukasey's New Office a Big Splash

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Diet Water

You just knew this was bound to happen, sooner or later:

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Typical Rightwing Know-it-all

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At the end of the rainbow...

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The War on Halloween-A report from the front

Just in time for Situation Awareness tomorrow Jesus' General (well, actually, Miss Poppy Dixon on Jesus' General) weighs in with...

The War on Halloween

Look for these amazing reports:

• Halloween Fun Family Prayer Adventures


• For every light brown M & M you chose, pray for Christians in other countries.


• I wonder where we toss the unbaptized beanie babies.


• Trunk or Treat

But the greatest has to be:


The Jesus Costume!From the article:

This is all marvelous progress, especially after last year's debacle. Donna Brewer, the Christian mother of a fourth grader, didn't want her son to feel isolated by not wearing a costume to the school's Halloween party, so she dressed him up like Jesus on the Via Dolorosa, complete with crown of thorns (though it looks more like he's getting highlights). The school objected to the crown of thorns, so the mother sued through James Dobson's Alliance Defense Fund. It seems the case has been dropped as there are no more mentions about it on the ADF website.