I am Better Than God

I live in the "Buckle of the Bible Belt", which is a bit of a nightmare, being a Zen Buddhist and an atheist. A few years back, in a neighbouring area, some judge who was apparently unfamiliar with the Constitution decided to put up a huge granite monument to the ten commandments. Those who told him he should obey the law were told that we thought we were "better than God", which did strike some people wrong. Then, I got to thinking...I AM better than God. Here's just a few ways I am better than God:

1. I can prove my own existence. I am a quantifiable mass in space-time.

2. I am willing to discuss any problems I may have with you WITHOUT raining fire and brimstone on your head. Rational people discuss, irrational people destroy (Take note, Bush).

3. I do not demand unwavering loyalty. In fact, the last thing I want if for people to follow my lead without questioning the wisdom of it. Let's face it: I'm an idiot, and I abhor toadies.

4. I answer questions anyone asks me and I do it in a clear, concise manner without requiring the combustion of a shrub for assistance.

5. I've never killed another human being, nor has another human being ever been killed in my name.