No, It's Not the Drugs...

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I've threatened to do this before, but now, I can legally do this:

I am officially announcing my candidacy for President of the United States in 2008.

Some will ask what my platform is. Well, it is, at the moment, a work in progress. Here's what I have so far:

1. If elected, the military will never again have a shortage of bunnies.

2. I will guarantee some pot for every chicken.

3. If elected...Spirographs for Everyone!

4. I will appoint Adam West ambassador to the UN, however, I would require that he wear the Batman costume...for...national security.

So, that's all I have right now, but I'll be coming up with more soon.

In the mean time, I will be hitting the trail. First stop will be tomorrow in Snodgrass, Alabama where I will be providing free abortions to everyone...even the men.

Until then, remember:

A vote for Damien Darko is a vote for Ponies!