The Pot Calling the Kettle Crazy
Tomorrow night's show is going to be about drugs.
No real surprise, there.
Oh, wait, ABOUT drugs, not FUELED BY drugs.
Sorry, I got confused.
Actually, it's going to be about pot, specifically.
There was a report released recently where they linked pot smoking to an increased risk of psychosis. (By the way, I don't link to shit on this blog. If you don't know about something I post, look it up. I'm not a fucking search engine.) Allow me to state, for the record, that study is complete crap.
Any long-time listener to my show will recall that I am hebephrenic. And if you don't recall that, it may be because I may not have mentioned it on air. Actually, thinking about it, I may have only mentioned it in passing to Juan Carlos, the demon living in my office elevator. Anyway, that is only a side-point.
The real point is that I am, by definition, psychotic. I hide that fact well prefacing most of my work conversations with the disclaimer "Hold on a sec, I need to say something to the pygmy antelope taking a shit on your head."
I've lived with this for as long as I can recall (around lunch-time, I think) and I've often looked for effective ways of dealing with it. I had a psychiatrist recommend pot to me. I never could figure out why, maybe just to keep me calm, who knows.
So, yes: I have smoked marijuana, and yes, I did inhale.
To be honest, I find pot to be exceptionally boring, though fairly relaxing. It never really helped with my psychosis, though.
In the interest of letting fellow hebephrenics out there know the best way to deal with their conditions, I offer the following treatment.
2 fully louched pilsner glasses of absinthe (Yes, I do mean pilsner glasses, and I am talking about REAL absinthe. Tough to get, but worth it.)
About half a dozen "magic" mushroom caps. (Don't bother with the stems. Save them for an emergency)
3 cups of peyote tea
5 hits of high-quality blotter.
3 shots of NyQuil.
Have this with breakfast and you will find your day to be FAR more interesting.
More helpful tips like this will be coming soon.
No real surprise, there.
Oh, wait, ABOUT drugs, not FUELED BY drugs.
Sorry, I got confused.
Actually, it's going to be about pot, specifically.
There was a report released recently where they linked pot smoking to an increased risk of psychosis. (By the way, I don't link to shit on this blog. If you don't know about something I post, look it up. I'm not a fucking search engine.) Allow me to state, for the record, that study is complete crap.
Any long-time listener to my show will recall that I am hebephrenic. And if you don't recall that, it may be because I may not have mentioned it on air. Actually, thinking about it, I may have only mentioned it in passing to Juan Carlos, the demon living in my office elevator. Anyway, that is only a side-point.
The real point is that I am, by definition, psychotic. I hide that fact well prefacing most of my work conversations with the disclaimer "Hold on a sec, I need to say something to the pygmy antelope taking a shit on your head."
I've lived with this for as long as I can recall (around lunch-time, I think) and I've often looked for effective ways of dealing with it. I had a psychiatrist recommend pot to me. I never could figure out why, maybe just to keep me calm, who knows.
So, yes: I have smoked marijuana, and yes, I did inhale.
To be honest, I find pot to be exceptionally boring, though fairly relaxing. It never really helped with my psychosis, though.
In the interest of letting fellow hebephrenics out there know the best way to deal with their conditions, I offer the following treatment.
2 fully louched pilsner glasses of absinthe (Yes, I do mean pilsner glasses, and I am talking about REAL absinthe. Tough to get, but worth it.)
About half a dozen "magic" mushroom caps. (Don't bother with the stems. Save them for an emergency)
3 cups of peyote tea
5 hits of high-quality blotter.
3 shots of NyQuil.
Have this with breakfast and you will find your day to be FAR more interesting.
More helpful tips like this will be coming soon.
Labels: Drugs, Helpful Hints, Psychosis, Rev Darko, The Dark Side
posted by Rev. Darko at
2:28 PM
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